I've debated posting this because it feels too long and at the same time incomplete. I know there are things I left out and things I should have cut out, but...oh well: it is what it is....for the moment anyway. One day it may get revised or edited or expanded. And halfway through posting this, I gave up on linking the scriptures to the source. Soooo, if you want to look up the scripture reference you're going to have to do it yourself.
:-D
I was asked to speak on “You Matter to Him” by Pres. Dieter Uchtdorf from General Conference October 2011.
There are a few basic things you need to know about me by way of a personal introduction. Growing up in my family we had basic rules: don’t hit; share; brush your teeth; say your prayers; be kind; soap and deodorant are your friends, etc. As we got older, there were two principles that were added to these rules.
- The only stupid questions are the ones you never ask.
Reason: If “the glory of God is intelligence” (Doctrine & Covenants 93:36) and you never ask a question, you are therefore choosing not to learn--you are choosing to remain in a state of stupidity by preferring ignorance over intelligence.
Reason: When we complain, we are effectively telling God that we are ungrateful for the things He has given us. We are expressing ingratitude for the opportunity we have been given to learn and to become like Him. As my dad’s illness progressed, he was in a constant state of pain. If you complained around him, he would ask you to leave the room or the house. He couldn’t take pain medications because < 5% of his liver functioned and the only way he could cope was if he had the Holy Spirit with him constantly--complaining drives the Spirit away. Since the Spirit is also a teacher, you are also telling Heavenly Father you don’t believe you need to learn anything else from Him. (Luke 12:12; John 14:26; Moroni 10:3-5)
In Psalms 8:4, David asks, “What is man, that thou art mindful of him?”
Historically, man has asked three basic philosophical questions.
Where do I come from?
Why am I here?
Where am I going?
For those who have studied the scriptures and modern-day revelations, we know the answers to those questions.
We are children of Heavenly Parents. We lived with God before we came here (Doctrine & Covenants 93:23, 29). We were presented with a plan that would allow us to become like our Heavenly Parents. Satan (Lucifer) denounced the condition allowing us our ability to choose (Revelation 12:7-9; Abraham 3:22-28). We were given a choice to either follow our Father’s Plan or follow Satan. Those who followed Satan were denied physical bodies and the opportunity to continue choosing (Doctrine & Covenants 29:36), while those who followed our Father’s Plan were allowed to come to Earth to obtain physical bodies and be tested. (Genesis 1; Abraham 4-5; 2 Nephi 2; Acts 17:29)
We are here because we want to be like our Heavenly Parents. In order for that to occur, we needed physical bodies. We believe that Adam and Eve were the first mortal parents (Moses 2-4; Genesis 1-3) and that “Adam fell that men might be” (2 Nephi 2:25). Because we all sin and are imperfect--and because our Heavenly Father loves us more than we can comprehend--He provided a Savior, even Jesus Christ, to atone and intercede for all mankind so that we would be allowed to repent and continuously correct our mistakes as we follow Christ’s example. And we are allowed to experience opposition in all things so that we might be able to recognize good from evil and freely choose one or the other. (Moses 6:56-68; John 3:14-17; 2 Nephi 2; Jacob 4:4-5; Alma 34:8-9; Doctrine & Covenants 19:15-19)
We believe that, should we make choices that show our obedience to the commandments of God and exercise continuous faith that the Atonement of Christ is a reality, we will be allowed to return and live with Him again and become as He now is. (Moses 1:39; Alma 12:33-34; Revelation 3:21; 3 Nephi 28:10; Doctrine & Covenants 14:7)
We also know from modern revelation, one of the conditions placed upon our accepting our Heavenly Father’s plan is that a veil of forgetfulness was placed upon our minds. (Ecclesiastes 1:11) We would not fully remember so that should we choose to follow Christ’s teachings, it truly would be by our own free will and choice and would be an exercise of faith in our Heavenly Father’s Plan of Redemption. (Think of a double blind trial. Is it considered a fair test of a pharmaceutical’s efficacy if the participants have full knowledge of which drug they are being given?) We willingly chose amnesia, rejoiced even, so that we could have the opportunity to prove ourselves worthy of the chance to become like our Heavenly Parents. (Job 38:7)
Now, back to the Psalmist question:
“What is man, that thou art mindful of him?”
I think that even though we know the answers to these basic questions, we struggle with another fundamental question:
“Do you love me?”
In Exodus 2-3, we learn of a prophet called Moses. He was born to Hebrew parents and, due to political strife between the Egyptians and Hebrews, was hidden in a basket on the Nile River where he was found by Pharaoh’s daughter. Moses was raised in Pharaoh’s court amid the splendor and opulence of that civilization. He was taught that Pharaoh was the literal son of Ra and was worshipped as deity. There’s a lot more on this I could explain, but that would be an entirely separate talk.
When Moses killed the Egyptian for smiting the Hebrew, he fled the wrath of Pharaoh and ended up as a shepherd in Midian. There he had the experience with the burning bush on Mt Sinai. In Moses 1, in the Pearl of Great Price, we read that Moses saw God and talked with Him face to face. We also read that Moses was shown the workmanship of God’s hands (Moses 1:8-11). When Moses recovered from this experience he makes this profound statement:
“Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed.”
When compared with the vastness of creation, you and I are very tiny and seemingly insignificant. And yet, all of creation was created for our benefit. (Doctrine & Covenants 49:16)
“God Himself said we are the reason He created the universe! His work and glory--the purpose for this magnificent universe--is to save and exalt mankind. ... Our Heavenly Father created the universe that we might reach our full potential as His sons and daughters. This is the paradox of man: compared to God, man is nothing; yet we are everything to God. While against the backdrop of infinite creation we may appear to be nothing, we have a spark of eternal fire burning within our breast. We have the incomprehensible promise of exaltation--worlds without end--within our grasp. And it is God’s great desire to help us reach it.” (Uchtdorf, emphasis added)
But just as Moses was learning that he literally was a son of God, that he was nothing in comparison to the vastness of creation, and was humbled by his experience, Satan came. Remember, there is opposition in all things. We read in Moses 1:19 that Satan became angry that Moses would not worship him and because of his tantrum Moses became afraid. (Moses 1:20) “The great deceiver knows that one of his most effective tools in leading the children of God astray is to appeal to the extremes of the paradox of man.” (Uchtdorf) These two extremes are egocentricity on the one end and worthlessness on the other.
The egocentric person has been led to believe that nothing but their lives matter. They achieved their success all on their own and “they are set apart from the common measure of all that surrounds them. He [Satan] leads them to conclude that they are therefore not subject to anyone else’s rules and not to be bothered by anyone else’s problems.” (Uchtdorf) From what I have observed, they flout the commandments of God, believing that they are the exception to the rule--what the Prophets have commanded them to do doesn’t apply. They tend to judge others based on their standard of success whether it be salary, address, social status, academic achievement, etc. If you do not measure up, you are deemed unworthy of their time, energy, or friendship; you are beneath their notice and interest.
In contrast to this we understand that God judges very differently than the world does--for which I am extremely grateful. We are taught in 1 Samuel 16:7, “the Lord seeth not as a man seeth; ...but the Lord looketh on the heart.”
“Disciples of Jesus Christ understand that compared to eternity, our existence in this mortal sphere is only ‘a small moment’ in space and time. They know that a person’s true value has little do with what the world holds in high esteem. They know you could pile up the accumulated currency of the entire world and it could not buy a loaf of bread in the economy of heaven.” (Uchtdorf)
For me, I struggle the most with the other extreme: feelings of worthlessness. Most of it has to do with having been judged by others--and giving their opinion and demeaning words too much credit in my life--as being unworthy because I don’t measure up to the standards set by those who think their life is the only standard by which to judge. For the past few years, I have truly felt invisible, alone, unwanted, undesirable and uninteresting. I didn’t always feel like this and it was such a gradual descent at first that I didn’t even notice it was happening until I answered yes to the following questions in a song.
“Have you ever felt lost inside, so unloved within that you almost died? Have you ever stepped out of the light and realized there’s a stranger inside?” (Stranger Inside, Shinedown)
“Another way Satan deceives is through discouragement. He attempts to focus our sight on our own insignificance until we begin to doubt we have much worth. He tells us that we are too small for anyone to take notice, that we are forgotten--especially by God.” (Uchtdorf)
For the past few years I have been living in an area where I was the only single woman at church who didn’t live with her parents or children. In fact, I was the only single woman who wasn’t related by blood or marriage to anyone in the area. I was very much the ugly duckling and was reminded of my differences on a regular basis. There were many who were the queens of the backhanded compliment followed by the verbal kick after the sarcastic put-down. I was kind or silent in response because I was praying that one person would accept my offer of friendship and be my friend in return. It was wearying and eventually I became more silent and withdrawn than kind and friendly.
This is how I have been slowly pulling myself out of that deep pit and reminding myself that when I ask Heavenly Father if He loves me, the answer is emphatically YES!!! Maybe it will be of use to you or someone else.
Do you believe that Heavenly Father knows your name?
One of the neatest things to me about the Moses experience is that God calls him by name and reminds him of who he is: “Moses, my son.” Another experience that I absolutely love is Joseph Smith’s First Vision. When Joseph sees God the Father and Jesus Christ, the first thing he heard was God the Father speak his name.
“...One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other--This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!” (Joseph Smith-History 1:17)
For most of us, we don’t have face-to-face interactions with our Father in Heaven when we kneel down to talk to Him. It is very much like a long-distance relationship. I am not good at long-distance relationships with my friends and family. I prefer “face time” because there is so much more to communication than words. Without face-to-face interaction there are more misunderstandings, miscommunications, and sometimes you are convinced you’re both speaking different languages. If it were a cost-benefit analysis, the costs far outstrip the benefit in most cases.
Sometimes it can feel like that when we are praying, In the Bible Dictionary, it states that prayer is work. It is hard work! Sometimes it feels like Heavenly Father is not listening or that I don’t understand anything He is saying, so what’s the point? The point is He knows my name and I have to remember that He wants me to talk to Him because He desires to talk to me. Spencer W. Kimball said that when he felt as if God was far away and couldn’t hear him, it meant that he, Spencer, was the one who had drifted away from God. Those were the times he immersed himself in the scriptures and did what he needed to do to bring himself closer to Heavenly Father so that he could hear Him again. We have to remain where we can hear Heavenly Father call our name.
Why was the Atonement performed and for whom?
The Atonement was performed so that we would have the opportunity to choose to return to the presence of our Father in Heaven, if we so desired. A couple of years back, I was preparing to teach a lesson about how we can use the Atonement daily in our lives. The obvious answer to me was through prayer. We kneel and ask forgiveness for our sins. It starts the whole repentance process.
The question popped into my head: Why are we allowed to pray? I thought that was a silly question since prayer is a commandment. How can you be allowed to keep a commandment? Then, the question, How do you end your prayers? What do you say? The answer was pretty obvious: “In the name of Jesus Christ.” Okay, now WHY do you say that? Because Christ made intercession for us. (John 17) He intercedes constantly on our behalf. We exercise our faith in the Atonement each time we pray. Because “no unclean thing can dwell in the presence of God” do you think without the Atonement we would be allowed to even speak to our Heavenly Father? I don’t believe we would.
Since this realization, the words to the 4th verse of the hymn “Reverently and Meekly Now” have taken on special meaning for me.
“At the throne I intercede
For thee ever do I plead
I have loved thee as thy friend
With a love that cannot end.”
I love the Book of Mormon. There is such powerful imagery in the words chosen, especially in the Isaiah chapters and in 3 Nephi. My favorite Isaiah chapters are 2 Nephi 19-20. The birth of Christ is prophesied and my favorite phrase is repeated four times:
“For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still.”
This phrase is similar to the Savior’s lament “How oft would I have gathered you, and yet ye would not.” The Savior is constantly reaching towards us, constantly ready to shoulder our burdens, to protect us, and yet we doubt that we matter to Him and that we are loved.
In 3 Nephi 11, the people are milling about the temple at Bountiful, marveling at the destruction that has occurred and that their lives have been spared, when they hear a voice. It pierces them to their hearts but the first time they do not understand it. The second time, they still do not understand it. The third time something changes--
“And again the third time they did hear the voice, and did open their ears to hear it; and their eyes were towards the sound thereof; and they did look steadfastly towards heaven, from whence the sound came. And behold, the third time they did understand the voice which they heard;...”
Why were they able to understand the third time? What had changed? The people actively, physically turned towards the sound. They stopped looking to their neighbors and looked towards the voice of their Father in Heaven. This is one of the three times recorded in scripture where the Father actually speaks and He does it because He desires for His children to turn to Him. Do you think the voice pierced them to their souls because they recognized who was speaking?
Whose Am I?
Every day I look in the mirror and say,
“I am a daughter of God who loves me and I love Him.”
It is a reminder to me that no matter what has happened in my life, no matter what I have done, no matter how much I have disappointed my Heavenly Father, I will always be His daughter and He will always love me. There are lots of different voices yelling lots of different things at us every day and sometimes it can be difficult to sort through them. One thing I have learned is that our Heavenly Father never yells at us and He is never demeaning or belittling.
But others can be belittling, demeaning, and constantly yelling such things at us. Or there can be times when we go through things that leave us broken and bleeding on the side of the road. These experiences can leave us feeling as if there was a mistake when someone told us we were special and loved. Some even wonder how a loving God allows me and others to experience such suffering and torment.
During the adult session of the Beaumont Texas Stake Conference, August 2011, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland posed the question, “Do you think you aren’t loved because you have trials? Or because you don’t get everything you want exactly they way you want it?” He went on to point out that Jesus Christ suffered the pains, afflictions, illnesses, and sins of all mankind. This was an experience that Christ himself described as being so exquisitely painful that He bled from every pore. And Heavenly Father allowed Him to experience it. Do you think that Christ was not loved because he was allowed to suffer in Gethsemane? Do you think He was not loved because God allowed men to spit on him? To reject Him? To betray Him? To scourge Him? To pierce his hands, wrists, and feet with nails so that all could see him humiliated in the company of murderers and thieves? Do you think He was not loved because he was perfectly obedient and submissive to the will of our Father in ALL things?
Christ suffered more than we can imagine and He is greatly loved by our Father in Heaven. And so are each and every one of us. We agreed to experience certain things and are trying to learn to be like the Savior who hoped that when the time arrived He would not shrink from the experience. (Doctrine & Covenants 19) We are children of our Heavenly Father who loves us and we love Him.
If you doubt this, get on your knees and ask Him,
“Do you love me? Do I matter to you? Do you care about me?”
We are promised in the scriptures over and over that if we will but ask, we will receive answers.
- “If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the mysteries and peaceable things--that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life eternal.” (Doctrine & Covenants 42:61)
- “Therefore, he that lacketh wisdom, let him ask of me, and I will give him liberally and upbraid him not.” (Doctrine & Covenants 42:68; see also James 1:5-6)
“And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.” (Moroni 10:4-5)
When you pray, how do you talk to your Father? Do you talk to him as if He were one of your friends, conversing with you in the room? Do you rush through your prayers thinking that nothing you have to say could possibly be of any importance to Him? Do you stop talking to Heavenly Father about the mundane things in your life believing that you have become boring?
Or do you tell Him the little things? Do you counsel with Him? Do you tell Him about the temptations you are struggling with? Do you tell Him the things you are afraid of and ask Him to help you have the courage to act on faith? Do you speak of your weaknesses and acknowledge that you need His help to be stronger? Do you talk to him about how you saw a dragonfly and it made you smile? Consider how you talk to Him and of what you speak about.
Would you be shocked to know that I have told Him at two different times in my life that I am angry with Him and don’t desire to converse with Him for awhile, and I didn’t? I told Him exactly why I was angry, how disappointed I was that the things I greatly desired--my dreams--had been taken away from me. The amazing thing I learned about that experience is how much more I felt the love my Heavenly Father has for me than at any other time in my life. Because I was honest with Him about how I felt, my Father knew that, when I was ready and wanted to, I would talk to Him again and He NEVER left me alone! He knew that I was not able to see the bigger picture and how denying me what I wanted was a blessing to others and to me. And He knew how much it hurt me and He gave me the comfort I was too angry to ask for.
“We have the faithful promise of God that He will neither forget nor forsake those who incline their hearts to Him. Have hope and faith in that promise. Learn to love your Heavenly Father and become His disciple in word and in deed. Be assured that if you but hold on, believe in Him, and remain faithful in keeping the commandments, one day you will experience for yourselves the promises revealed to the Apostle Paul: ‘Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.’ Brothers and sisters, the most powerful being in the universe is the Father of your spirit. He knows you. He loves you with a perfect love. God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season--He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him.” (Uchtdorf, emphasis added.)
I know that no matter how invisible and unnoticed I may feel, Heavenly Father always sees me. He always desires to talk to me because I am important to Him. I have learned through my loneliness that my Heavenly Father is my best friend and His opinion is the only one that matters. I know that Jesus Christ would have performed the Atonement if I was the only person on the Earth, just so I would have the opportunity to return to my Heavenly Parents’ Home. This Earth was created so that we would be given the opportunity to be like our Parents. We have bodies because we wanted more than anything to have the opportunity to be Mothers and Fathers and be exactly like God. I am grateful that the Savior was rejected, despised, and bruised in the house of His friends so that He would know perfectly how to succor His people. Because He experienced those things, He has known exactly how I feel and knows perfectly how to be my friend. I hope that I can live worthy to one day hear him call me his friend in return.
