Bah, Humbug!

So, I am not a huge fan of this awful thing people call Christmas. It has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with the commercialization crap that goes on. I hugely dislike the crowds that throng the shops. I can't go into my favorite stores and just enjoy the atmosphere because there are soooo many people. How did this happen? I truly do not understand how something that should be a private and deeply spiritual celebration of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ, has become so out of control and anger inducing. For me, I have found that it is the one time of year I feel most un-Christlike. For the entire month of December, I want to lock myself in my house and hide from the rest of the world. Maybe it is hormone related. Or it could be a claustrophobia/agorophobia thing. I don't know.

 I did not always feel this way. When I was younger, I loved Christmas. The smell of the tree, wrapping presents, hanging out with family and friends, the music... It was all so wonderful. But somewhere in the past ten years I have lost that love. It is just another ordeal to endure and get through.  When did life become something to endure and get through? When did I stop enjoying every day? During Thanksgiving I had a moment to stop and ponder for a few minutes. (This is something I don't do often because I live inside my own head too much as it is.) But I had a rare moment to sit and think about nothing. As usual, when I do this, my brain turns into my own private radio station and music plays in my brain. One of the songs from the musical Rent, looped through my brain. The refrain "No day but today" kept repeating. It was a mild epiphany. I had been struggling with some issues in my life and trying to figure some things out. It was a subtle reminder that yesterday is gone, tomorrow hasn't happened, so today is the only day you need to be concerned about.

At this time, as most of the world is preparing to celebrate the observance of the birth of a tiny baby who changed the world, I get to ponder the exemplary life of that amazing child who taught us all how to be like Him and return to our Heavenly Father again. He made possible the greatest gift our Father in Heaven has given us: the ability to repent, to change our minds and be forgiven of the stupid mistakes we make in our lives. Because of that gift, our pasts are forgiven and forgotten when we ask. And, amazingly, choices we made yesterday, that may not have been the smartest choices, are forgotten, erased as if they never were, when we sincerely ask. What matters is what we do today. Everyday we are given the opportunity to be better, to try harder, and be our best selves. "No day but today." So Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all.