Stop the World! I NEED a nap!

Personal life update

In November 2009, I woke up one morning nauseated, feverish and had a bit of vomiting. No big deal. I was thinking food poisoning or flu. 5 weeks later, and myriad expensive medical tests, I am informed that I have an ulcer in my stomach. Good news: no cancer cells or bacteria. Just tons of excess stomach acid happily dissolving a tiny hole in the lining of my stomach. During the process of finding this out, I was medically prohibited to go to work. This meant 5 weeks without a paycheck and since my medical insurance premium comes out of said paycheck every week, the first week I went back to work I received a whopping $2.85 for working 15 hours. YEAH ME! I get my meds for my ulcer for free though because you have to love samples, so that's a positive.

8 January 2010: Things are really starting to look up. I feel better, I have a new battery in the car (it had been dying and needing a jump every 3 weeks) and my student loan disbursement was deposited into my account. Happy Day! School started and I LOVE my classes. I designed a chair out of PVC pipe and clothes line. It is fantastic!

14 January 2010: The car does this weird thing where it thinks it has no gas and loses power. I get the fuel filter replaced, change the oil, and rotate the tires. And we are running again. Woo Hoo!

19 January 2010: Car makes weird jerking motions, loses power, restart motor, rev engine and we take off. I built my PVC/clothes line chair with my class partner and she takes it down to campus so we can turn it in the next day.

20 January 2010: Car doing the same thing again. Call up someone who is a mechanic. He looks at it, drives it, and says that the engine is misfiring. He resets the idle speed and tells me to shift when I am at a higher RPM so the engine doesn't have to work so hard. I drive home and the car does great. I get home to build my light fixture for my lighting class and realize I have the wrong light kit. I get in the car to return it. It had been raining that day and was quite humid outside. I drive down the road to Lowe's and change lanes so that I am in the right hand lane in preparation to turn right. Just after I change lanes, I cross a particularly nasty intersection where the post office has a poorly designed driveway and people turn in there without signaling ALL the time. The truck in front of me slams on its brakes because the car in front of it turns without warning. I, in turn, slam on my brakes. At the precise moment I slam on my brakes, I drive through a puddle of water and lost traction with the road. It felt like I was sliding on ice right into the back of this huge pickup. The truck drives off. I restart the engine and, miraculously, drive up into a parking lot to assess the damage. Luckily, nothing is leaking or smoking and I am just sore. I drive home and eventually end up at Family Home Evening (FHE), where I, unintentionally, insult people because the filter in my brain has been knocked loose because I had been hit by a truck, or something, earlier that day and just feel crappy. I get home from FHE and proceed to build said light fixture from earlier. I finish it and am in bed around 2AM.

21 January 2010: Wake up, shower, eat breakfast, and brush my teeth. This is a great day so far! I pick up my light fixture, sling on my backpack, and proceed out the door to the garage. I trip over my own foot as I am opening the door. A fragile light fixture sandwiched between two objects of much greater mass and density gets smooshed--just like in a trash compactor! I look at the crumpled remains in my hands, walk out the door, throw them in the trash, yell at the 15 yapping dogs who live next door, get in the car and drive to school. Walk to class and explain to my professor what happened. Come to find out the light fixture was an extra 10 point bonus and doesn't really count in the grading system so much. AHHH! Drive home and the owner of the car comes over to assess the damage I inflicted on the borrowed vehicle. Looks like I will be buying a new grill, radiator, condenser, bumper, headlights and hood for the car I am driving. Good news: It runs just fine. Bad news: The hood won't catch properly now that it has been pried up. Will have to tie it down before I drive to work Saturday.

Later, the same day: I am at a basketball game, cheering, yelling, having a blast. I am having fun and it is free. Woo Hoo!

My Bladder: "Excuse me."

Me: "Not now, I'm busy."

MB: "Well, you'll be embarrassed in a minute. But if you're busy, I understand."

Me: "Fine!"

I go see a man about a horse and discover there is no toilet paper in the stall, AFTER the fact. So I pull out my cell phone and call a female friend who was also at the game. I explain my situation, she comes to the restroom, and discovers there is NO toilet paper in the entire restroom. But there are paper towels.

I am tired of my life. I would like to trade it in for a different model. Or anyone else's model. Maybe someone would like to share? I will take half of your problems/blessings and you get half of mine. Any takers? I'm begging here! I could really use some blessings soon because this enduring business is tough. I need a Rip van Winkle sized nap. That sounds a bit nice at the moment. To go to sleep and wake up to a different anything. (sigh, amid somewhat hysterical laughter.) To paraphrase Marjorie Pay Hinckley, life is so hard that if you don't laugh, you will just cry all the time. To quote my sister: "The only thing crying does is give you a headache." I don't need any more pains, so I think I will laugh. If it sounds a bit strained and verging on hysteria, oh well.