Best Case Scenarios

For the past 10 years, I have had numerous experiences that have caused me to believe that planning for and expecting the worst case scenario was normal. It was just easier to expect that bad things would inevitably happen. When they did I would be prepared and not too disappointed. Recent events have forced me to look hard at my life and what I truly want. I have discovered, with the help of a good friend, that it IS possible to want and expect good things to happen. When you experience disappointment after disappointment for so long, it is hard to remember that blessings can, and will, come into your life and that you truly do deserve to be happy.

The first thing that jarred my mental state was having someone show up whom I honestly didn't think would show up. I told my friend about the incident and she pointed out that maybe it was time for me to plan for the best case scenarios in life. I did some thinking and came to the conclusion that she was correct in her assessment. I took her advice, and the counsel given by someone else, and made a list of things that I want in my life--some long term goals, dreams, and desires.

The second thing that happened occurred a few hours ago. Something that I truly desired had been out of my grasp and I had resigned myself to the fact that this once in a lifetime opportunity would be forever denied. In fact, I was heartbroken over the fact that this thing would be denied to me. But then, a kind and loving person, who was aware of my desire and knew how much it would mean to me to attain this thing that was unattainable by me alone, made it possible for me to achieve my dream. No deadlines were given and no timetable was assessed for me to pay them back, even though repayment will be made. The offer was extended and I took it.

I have been slightly giddy with joy for the past several hours. A few phone calls were made and the joy was shared as I got to rejoice with people who love and support me. I have also been a bit tearful, but they are tears of happiness and gratitude instead of the tears of pain and anguish that have been shed in the past few months.

Most of the time there are little things that remind me that God, Our Heavenly Father, is aware of me. The wind rustling in the trees, rain falling from gorgeous grey clouds, or birds singing in the morning all remind me that today is new and this Earth was created for me to experience the majesty of God's tremendous love for His children. But these things are small and sometimes easily overlooked amid the stress and rush of getting everything done that needs to be done. Tonight was a big thing that reminded me that Heavenly Father is aware of me and the desires of my heart. Sometimes blessings come that are so specific to my personal needs that no one but Heavenly Father could have known what I needed, or in what way I would be receptive. I am truly grateful to have people in my life who are willing to live in such a way that they can and do act on promptings from our Father in Heaven.

Tonight, I am reminded of the the true importance of experiencing "opposition in all things." I have caught a glimpse of what Eve talked about when she and Adam were cast out of the Garden of Eden: "....Were it not for our transgression (or disappointments, in my case) ....[we] never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient." (Moses 5:11) Were it not for the multiple disappointments, the discouragements, the heartaches, I would not appreciate, nor be so aware of, how much my Father in Heaven loves me and is aware of my needs. I would not be able to appreciate the joys and blessings He has given me were I not allowed to go through the struggles and adversity I have had to experience in the few, short years I have been alive on this planet. Because of the bitter tears of heartache I can tell the difference in the taste of the tears of joy and hope.

Good things can and do happen, but in their own way and time. I am supremely grateful that some things come when they are unlooked for and at times when I have felt that the blessing would not be mine. At those times, when I have bowed to the Father's will, I am truly reminded that when I make choices that require sacrifice, Heavenly Father is aware of my difficulties and reminds me that He loves me. I was told in November the following statement:

"I am aware that you are there. I haven't forgotten you! Don't get discouraged or be disappointed. Be patient. You're still young."

At the time those words were uttered, I did not truly believe them. Today, I do and I am grateful beyond my ability to express just how much the love of my Father in Heaven means to me. I do believe, finally, that it is possible to plan for the best things in life and actually expect them to happen.