I Wish.....

• ...I had disposable income for unforeseen crap that gets thrown at my face.
• ...I didn't have pity party/crying moments in the shower after expressing congratulations and truly being happy when someone else gets engaged.
• ...I had a kitchen with more than 3 feet (1 meter) of counter space.
• ...Other people would actually do their job like responsible adults are supposed to so that I don't have to deal with the consequences of their irresponsibility.
• ...I had friends who lived closer than 100 miles away and who actually call me up to go do fun stuff.
• ...Someone else would cook dinner, clean the house, do the laundry, pay the bills, etc. just for one week.
• ...I was 18 again and could make different choices based on what I now know about how my life would turn out.
• ...I had someone to hold me when I've had a bad day and make everything and everyone else go away.
• ...The university I attend actually communicated with their students so that issues that I needed to know about 3 months ago would have been addressed then instead of 3 days before classes start.
• ...I lived anywhere where there were single men my age who didn't think that calling them on the phone or attempting to be their friend was me "making a move." (whatever that means; still haven't figured that out. Newsflash: I don't want to date you, marry you, or have your babies! I just need someone who's my kind of normal and intelligent to be my friend!)
• ...I could afford to go on vacation alone for 2 weeks just to rest and forget that this is my cursed life.

Attention: Next time someone wants to tell me anything that will negatively impact my life in any way, I would like warning. I'm tired of being sucker-punched in the face.