Karma

Last year, I made the transition from the singles unit to a family ward. I went from having 3 callings or assignments to having zero callings or assignments. After a few months of feeling useless, I emailed the Bishop my church resume and asked if I could meet with him. During that initial meeting we had a good chat about why I had moved into the family ward, what I was doing to heal, and what I needed. I emphatically declared that I needed a calling. "Please, give me something to do!" I begged. Two days later, he was called to be the new Stake President. And I still had no church assignment.

A few months later, I got a phone call from the new bishop of our ward. He chatted with me on the phone for a few minutes and asked to see me at my earliest convenience. I met with him at the appointed time and had a pleasant visit. Until he told me that they had had an assignment for me but because they didn't know who I was or if I had been coming to church, they gave it to someone else. I had been working strange overtime hours and was barely making it to Sacrament. And I have a tendency to hide in the back, so no one knew who I was. Although, I would like to point out that my phone did work since he was able to call me on it.

During that interview, he once again asked me what I needed. I gave the same response: Please give me an assignment. In January, I was given a Stake assignment to work with the Single Adult Committee and in February, I finally got a ward assignment, which they promptly released me from 2 weeks later for some unknown reason. It was an emotionally difficult place for me to live. Moving this past month came as a complete shock and happened really fast. So fast, there are a few moments I have to stop, be still, and remember that this was right when I prayed about it and I need to have faith and not panic in fear over various unknowns.

Yesterday, I attended the singles unit of the stake where I grew up. It felt weird. Not because of church, but because I haven't lived in the area on a regular basis since I was 18. There were a few times I was living at home between 18 and 25 when my dad was so sick, but I didn't have time to participate in singles activities. I know almost everyone there but only a few people know who I am or remember me. It's strange to see the younger siblings of all the people who are my age or the children I remember running around at Stake meetings.

I thought I would just hide in the back at church, stay out of the way, observe. But no. They introduced me in Sacrament Meeting as a new member of the ward and as Sunday School was starting, I got pulled into a meeting with the Bishop. He wanted to know a bit about me, asked about my family, and assigned me to speak in church on April 29th. I have a sneaky suspicion a calling will be around the corner. Guess what I get to speak on?

"You Matter to Him" by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. I read the talk last night and cried. Last time I spoke it was on Charity and not judging others. This time it seems I get to study up on Individual Worth--a subject I have been struggling with. Next time I feel the need to go begging the Bishop for something to do, someone hit me, and remind me that just going about doing good in the world is sufficient. Karma gets me every time.