A Thoughtless, Awkward Date

I have been asked out on a date 4 times by 4 different men. The first guy stood me up so I'm not sure it actually counts as a date, even though I went without him. Date #2 occurred 4 years later.

Late July 2003

"Hello, this is Steve. Can I speak to Emily?"

"This is Emily," I replied groggily.

"This is Steve. Are you dating anyone right now?"

"What?!"

"I was wondering if you would you like to go out with me in 2 weeks?"

"What? I'm sorry but I was sleeping and I'm not quite awake. Would you repeat what you just said?"

"This is Steve. I'm calling to ask you if you want to go out with me in 2 weeks. There is a symphony broadcast on campus at the Museum of Art and I wanted to know if you would like to accompany me?" he stated patiently.

"Uh, I guess. I don't have any other plans that I'm aware of," I unenthusiastically responded.

"Great! I'll call you with more details later. Great lesson in Sunday School, by the way. Talk to you later." And he hung up.

I fell back on my bed, not in a very good mood. My Sunday nap had been interrupted and I was now committed to an afternoon date with the guy in my ward who had told everyone that he was going through the ward directory, asking out every girl who wasn't seriously dating anyone. I had hoped that I would be exempt since I was a bit older but no such luck.

A few days later, he called me to give me the details about the date. When he told me we were going to the Museum of Art on a Sunday afternoon I informed him that the Museum wasn't open on Sunday. He insisted that it was even against my assertions to the contrary. I explained to him that I was an Art History major and our main lecture hall was in the basement. I knew the Museum was most definitely NOT open on Sundays. He emailed me the information about the performance and insisted that it would be open. I conceded to avoid the argument, still pretty sure that we would get there and the doors would be locked. I told him I hoped he would have a Plan B.

The appointed day and time I arrived and Steve came to pick me up at my dorm. It was an Utah afternoon the last Sunday in July. It was incredibly hot and we walked up to campus from Helaman Halls making small talk, getting to know one another a bit. By the time we got to the MOA, I was sweaty, feeling a bit dehydrated and over-all unattractive. We walked towards the Museum entrance and I saw the locks engaged on the doors.

"Uh, Steve? How sure are you that there was a performance here this afternoon?"

"It said online that there was a performance for this date and time at this location."

"Well...those doors are locked," I pointed out, already aware that there was no performance taking place.

"Let's walk around to the front entrance. Maybe those doors are open," he optimistically suggested.

We walked between the Harris Fine Arts Center and the MOA towards the front of the building. We got to the steps and, once again, the locks were visibly engaged on the smoky glass doors. I was definitely not a happy person at this point.

"Why do they advertise symphony performances here if they lock everyone out?" he wondered.

I looked at him and asked, "How exactly was the event worded?"

"The BYU-Radio website said Orchestral Performance recorded in the MOA Auditorium to be broadcast today at 4PM," he relayed.

"BYU-Radio broadcast? That means they are playing a pre-recorded performance on the radio, not performing it live," I explained patiently.

"Well that would explain why the MOA was locked last week when I brought another girl," he realized.

The sun beat down on my head. I could feel my hair getting bleached and my scalp going a bit red, not out of frustration though. He had done this before with another girl and hadn't figured out that the MOA was closed on Sunday like I had explained to him 2 weeks ago?!

"Do you have a Plan B?" I asked politely.

"No. This was it. Well, I guess we should head back home," he said, smiling down at me.

"Great. Sounds fun," I declared, sarcastically. I could have been home, napping.

I had just wasted an hour of my time with a guy who couldn't simply ask me out to a movie on a Saturday afternoon. We didn't talk much on the walk back to my dorm. Or rather, he talked and I made mono-syllabic answers and hmm noises.

"Well, thanks for coming with me. Did you have a good time? Would you like to go out again sometime?" he asked hopefully.

"No," I responded, "I would not like to go out with you again."

"Why not?" he asked.

There is really only one thing people should know about me: If you ask me a question I will give you an honest answer, but only if you really want to know my answer.

"Do you really want to know why not?" I asked.

"Yes. Why wouldn't you consider going out with me again?"

"For one thing, I told you weeks ago that the MOA was not open on Sunday and you dismissed my knowledge on the subject. Then, after we got there, you informed me that you had taken another girl on the exact same date with the exact same results. This tells me that 1) you discount the intelligence of a woman and 2) you do not learn from your mistakes. Also, I may not be your girlfriend but I sincerely have no desire to hear about dates you have gone on with other girls; that is a total turn-off for me. It is also 104 degrees outside right now and you thought it would be fun for me to traipse around campus for an hour with you?

"I think you are an interesting guy and would have had a more enjoyable time sitting down eating dinner together sometime. Or a movie. Or a nice walk around campus AT NIGHT, when the temperature is lower. There were lots of other things you could have done but this has been a waste of my time. You knew that there was a 100% probability that the MOA would be locked up and didn't even have a backup plan. I don't appreciate when others show a complete disregard for the feelings and consideration of others."

"Is there anything else?" he bravely asked when I paused for breath.

"Yes. If you want to get to know girls and go on lots of dates, for future reference, don't announce that you're going to go out with every girl in the ward. I don't feel like a person you are genuinely interested in getting to know. More like an item you now get to check off your "To Do" List. Thanks for a remarkable afternoon."

I walked inside, grabbed my shower stuff, and clean clothes. Then I proceeded to cool off and wash that experience out of my life.