I Write for Me and for You

The main reason I started this blog was as a creative outlet for me. I haven't been good at keeping a journal since high school and didn't see what the point of it was if I was the only one who ever read it. I also had things I wanted to talk to other people about but no one to talk to where I lived. So I discovered Blogspot and wrote my first post.

One of my best friends, Melody, was the first person to read it and possibly the only one who read it for a long time. My sisters, Julie and Melanie read it regularly. Although Julie campaigned hard for a while to stop writing the blog and concentrate on writing "Naked in the Museum" instead. She may still think the blog is distracting me from writing that fascinating piece of fiction. Melanie comes back most times to see if one of her quotes has made her page on the blog. (She's slightly narcissistic and every time she says something that makes her laugh she tells me to put it on the blog. All so she can go back and read what she said again and again, ad infinitum.)

And yesterday I received a kind email via the contact form from someone who reads my blog regularly who has never commented or met me in person. It was readers like Diane who reminded me every time before when I considered taking the blog private WHY I kept it public in the first place. Thank you so much!

Most women can show you a picture of their children and grandchildren and say, "Look what I accomplished! I helped make them!" I feel that way about my blog. "Look what I wrote! I made this and someone will be able to read this after I'm dead and gone and know that I lived."

To all the readers like Diane who found my blog somehow on the vast interwebs and read something that made them want to come back each time something new was published, thank you. Thank you for not being openly judging! Thank you for reading! And forgive me for having to shut down the comments section over the past three days and for having to take the blog private for a little while. I received over 250 hits in less than 24 hours--more than I normally get in 3 weeks--and quite a bit of negative emails via my personal email address and Facebook. I'm sharing two positive ones that came in from people who were kind and compassionate.

"Emily,I would love to continue to read your blog. I live in Houston and share many of your same struggles. If you would ever like to talk, or just make a new friend, I would like that.  I wish you all the best in life. I really enjoy reading your blog and always look forward to your new posts.Take care!Diane"

"Don't forget to add me to your private blog! I've read every single thing you've ever posted, and I don't intend to stop now!
Sorry I haven't written to you sooner. I'm worried about you. If I was closer I'd bring you dinner and a batch of gluten free brownies (are you still doing gluten free?). And then, we'd have either a pride and prejudice or anne of green gables movie watching marathon. And of course, my kids would be perfect angels during all of this, because we're talking ideal. But since I'm not there, hugs from afar is all I can offer. Maybe we can watch anne of green gables together in August. Are you still planning on coming then?
Love ya!
Melody"

I currently don't know what my plans are for the rest of the year. There's a possibility of a family member's wedding. A planned vacation to see Julie. A brand-new niece or nephew making their Earthly debut. The definite plans to attend one of my best friend's weddings in Colorado in September because unless I actually see it I don't really believe she is getting married. (One too many April Fool's jokes over a 10 year period would make anyone doubt her.) The main thing the counselor wants me to discuss at our next meeting are the details of my social life. I joke that it will be a short discussion since I don't have one but this might be the hardest thing for me to talk to anyone about.

I do know I feel shutdown after everything that happened in the past few days. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone and have been cuddled up in bed with either a book or Kenneth Branagh Shakespeare anything and chocolate. (That could also be because I started my period out of sync due to all the stress and have been in a lot of physical pain.) I watched "Despicable Me" for the first time and loved it. Melanie Skypes with me and has made me watch "Dharma and Greg," "Rizzoli & Isles," and more of BYU's comedy troupe than I ever saw when I was an actual student. But if the following clips don't have tears rolling down your eyes from laughter, I don't know what will. They were not this funny when I was a student and I knew some that were in the troupe then.