Home Owned

I used to think it would be cool to own my own house. I still think it would be cool but, dang it, I would need to have money to hire people to do stuff. Such as mow the lawn, kill the bugs/wildlife, make the kitchen sink work, do my laundry, cook for me, et cetera.

I moved into my family home--which happens to be on the market--to help out my mom and myself. The day I moved in I dropped everything off and then got in the car and drove to north Texas to spend New Year's with my Christmas present. When I got home I had the pleasure of experiencing the Polar Vortex Hell. I was not the only one to enjoy the pleasure of turning on the heater for the first time in 20 years.

Enter the Attic Invaders. I was home one day and began to freak out. There were odd thumpings coming from the second floor/attic area. I live alone and their were humanoid thumpings upstairs. The alarm had not tripped. I called the police. The police came and checked my attic and yard. Luckily, there was no other human living in the house. Unluckily, a raccoon and family of squirrels were engaging in fisticuffs to determine who could live where. The raccoon won. Long story short, I shared my house with a 45 pound alpha male raccoon for almost a month and NO ONE SLEPT. He is now gone but the hole in my roof soffet remains.

The Polar Vortex was fantastic as it has not allowed the majority of the lawn to grow. But the South side is about knee/mid-thigh high. That will be taken care of in the morning. (ugh!) I haven't mown a lawn since I was 14. That's almost 20 years ago! I also need to cut down the rest of the shrubbery I was not able to cut with a hand saw. This requires my acquisition of a chain saw. I haven't figured out how to acquire one....yet. Here are pictures of what I have done thus far.

Do you see the middle of the bush on the left? That is a tree growing in the middle of the bush. It is taller than the roof. Apparently the bushes felt jealous as you can see from the bushes on the right. They are as tall as the roof and more than 3 inches in diameter. I couldn't get through them with the handsaw; I tried. I also discovered that I'm apparently allergic to these bushes. Who knew? This is what happened a few days later and lasted for 2 weeks.

Thanks to hydrocortisone cream and tea tree oil they're now gorgeous scars. My left ankle was way worse but I refrained from sharing a picture of that because I don't like to shave my legs and some find the hairy legs just too much.

To sum up this week, I have vacuumed the entire house, made a quilt, done laundry, plunged the kitchen sink, attempted to unclog said sink, determined I may need to repair the garbage disposal, washed the same load of dishes 3 times, cleaned the fridge I bought for $75, gone grocery shopping, and bought a new food source for the ghost in my machine.

Still to do: paint the inside of the kitchen cabinets, replace the contact paper in the kitchen, cook food,  mop the floors, clean the bathrooms, chop down a tree, disconnect the old Hi-Fi speaker in the kitchen, cap cut electrical lines, repair holes in sheetrock/spackle/paint, unpack books, not cry when realtors make appointments to show the house, et cetera ad infinitum.

Taking care of a house alone is exhausting. So grateful my brother is coming down for a job and has agreed to enter the attic to dismantle the raccoon's remodeled bedroom and ensuite.

In order to feel more like myself, my hair now looks like this and I LOVE it! If you knew me between the ages of 18-25, you know my hair changed colors every 6-8 weeks. It's nice to feel more like me again and have fantastic hair.

Also, I fell in love with this song today and as a personal PSA, should I ever, EVER, announce that I'm giving up on my dreams to become an accountant someone needs to reserve me a padded cell somewhere. My siblings have been informed that should I make such a statement they are to involuntarily commit me as I need the vacation.