I live in an incredibly negative singles area. I don't even know how to describe it. Today, I shut down a group I had created out of frustration and a need that was expressed in January. There is a lot of inanity that exists in Facebook groups. People such as myself become members of such groups to find out about activities so that we can actually meet people face-to-face. (I've done the online, long-distance, email correspondence thing with less than 5% actual human contact and I don't recommend it--though I know it works for other people.)
The group was simply a calendar of events. There were no discussions to get in the way or MEME's or whatever and all posts had to be approved by an admin to avoid that happening. It was simply upcoming events and activities that people could choose to attend or not. That's it! Simple, right?
Want to know what was so offensive about it? It was too censored. Apparently simply asking that people ONLY post details about things people could do in real life together and take the discussions off the walls was too stifling; I believe one comment I got was that someone had no desire to be a part of a "police group."
So it got boycotted for being too simple; for simply asking that you get together in person, not clog the walls with long, drawn-out conversations/arguments about topics that bordered on offensively inappropriate so people could see what was actually going on IN REAL LIFE! I know, I'm a horrible person!
When I finished deleting all the members with the exception of the one who is moving all the events I created to another group/person, I stumbled on the article linked above. Oh! My! Soul! Do I relate to what that Bishop has to say in his "State of the Ward" address. And honestly, how do you meet other single people unless you are able to attend the same things in your area?!?! One of my childhood friends asked me a couple of years ago how I meet people since I'm not in high school or college anymore. She and her husband met in high school and, like the majority of my friends, have been married for at least 14 years. I'm old enough that my oldest child could theoretically be a Freshman in high school.
I recently deleted my account with an LDS online dating site not because I'm not interested in meeting someone or having friends but because in the 6 months my profile was active I had two, 2!, men look at it and neither of them attempted to contact me. I am not an unattractive person and, according to close friends, am fun to talk to in person. But that doesn't matter. I'm not a super-model and I work too much and won't quit going to school which makes me look like I have no desire to settle down. In reality, I have no desire to sit around on my butt and feel sorry for myself so I enjoy staying busy.
This month marks the 10 year anniversary of my last date.
10.
Years.
I'm not going to lie: That hurts! 10 years that I have attended the movies alone, gone out to dinner alone, gone to the symphony/ballet/opera/museums/lectures/church ALONE! I've extended invitation after invitation to men and women in an attempt to make friends and cannot tell you the number of times I have been stood up, ignored, told I'm not interesting enough, planning something in advance caused too much drama, whatever. I have wonderful girl friends who have tried to set me up with their brothers since 2002 but nothing.
I read the aforementioned article and the #1 thing that stood out to me because it has happened over and over when I have been talking with a guy: other women standing in line to talk to him, ignoring the fact that I exist or that we might have any type of relationship that doesn't include these other women. This is exactly what he said and it is an awful feeling/situation to be the woman other women feel the need to put-down/push-aside to get their equal time.
"Now a courtesy warning: I have heard many times that when a woman is speaking with a guy, three or four other women will come up and kind of wait in line for their time to speak to the guy. Please be polite and allow people to complete their discussions before you take your turn to speak with the guy. Don’t just butt in, I know this is human nature—especially when we are all rushed."There's a list of suggestions and the only one I haven't tried lately is reaching out to past friends with whom I've lost contact. Not sure I'm ready to go down that road. If they didn't find me interesting the first time, why would they think I am interesting today? Also, there's a tiny-large part of me that would like to be pursued instead of being the pursuer. I'm content with everything in my life with the exception of this one thing and being angry with Heavenly Father about it hasn't exactly made me want to discuss it with Him.
Rant Over
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