Yenta, Yenta!

In the past few months, my marital status has undergone some serious scrutiny by a few of the women I associate with on a regular basis. They have decided that I need their expert help in finding good dating partners. Apparently all my personal efforts have failed, in their humble opinions. Thus far, there are three candidates for me from which I may leisurely choose. For ease in identification, we shall refer to them in this post as Subjects A, B, and C.

Subject A

-Does not live in the United States at the moment.

-Does not desire to get to know me.

-Has said hello to me via a social networking site.

Do these negatives deter the one trying to arrange a marriage between myself and Subject A? Not in the slightest. She seems to feel that my marriage to A is a foregone conclusion and that any other dates I might participate in could be construed as cheating. I should like to remind all and sundry that Subject A and I have NOT met and that there is no understanding between the two of us. At this point in time, there may never be an understanding between A and myself.

Subject B

How do I explain Subject B and his unnamed advocate? I asked her why she thought B and I would make a good couple. Her response: "Well, I got to thinking one day about how he's a nerd. Then I thought about how you are a nerd. And I realized that you two would have the cutest nerd-babies. I could just picture you with these nerd-babies who speak their own language that only the siblings and parents understand. It would be perfect! You two would make such a great couple."

Hold the phone, sister! How did we get from you should go on a (singular) date to beautiful nerd-babies? Subject B and I do not get along. We barely tolerate each other's presence. In fact, if he were to go away, I wouldn't even notice he was gone. Bizarrely, since she has pointed out that he and I could go out, I have noticed him a bit more and thought, "Eh, one date wouldn't hurt." But then tonight, he was his usual self and I exercised my impressive self-control. FYI-his head is still attached to his neck and I just gave him a look instead of yelling.

Subject C

Were Subject C to show interest in myself, I would not be opposed to his overtures. Those who want to see C and I get together, plan away. But know this, C and I are independent, private people who won't necessarily appreciate your interference. On behalf of myself, I think it's kinda neat that there are a few people who see C and I together. I am flattered. 

I would just like to remind all the Yenta's out there of the final verse of the wonderful song "Matchmaker, Matchmaker" from Fiddler on the Roof.

"Matchmaker, Matchmaker you know that I'm still very young. Please, take your time. Up to this minute I misunderstood that I could get stuck for good. Dear Yenta, see that he's gentle. Remember you were also a bride. It's not that I'm sentimental, it's just that I'm terrified. Matchmaker, Matchmaker plan me no plans. I'm in no rush. Maybe I've learned playing with matches a girl can get burned. So, bring me no ring, groom me no groom, find me no find, catch me no catch. Unless he's a matchless match."

I posted the wonderful scene from the movie here so that you can enjoy the realization the sisters undergo as they contemplate their futures with men not necessarily of their choosing.