Reasons Not to Go to the Grocery Store when You Are Sick

You forget why you went in there.
I needed toilet paper, soup, and more magical medical elixir. That was all. I came out with TP, MME, soup, milk, quiche, swiss cheese, swiss cake rolls, potato bread, Ben & Jerry's Clusterfluff, a loofa, and forgot to buy grape juice and Gatorade.

You wander aimlessly from one side of the store to the other, get on an aisle and forget why you went down that aisle in the first place.

Due to above reason, you stand staring at the items on the shelves hoping and praying that what you need will magically jump off the shelf and into your basket. Thus negating the need to think so that you can remember what you so desperately needed.

Things don't magically jump off the shelf and so you stand staring on the verge of tears and completely understand why little children have meltdowns in grocery stores: sensory overload.

People are more annoying than usual.

You decide while you are shopping that if God really loved you He would have given you someone to take care of you when you are sick.

You realize that this thought is ludicrous because you are being whiney and no one would want you like this anyway. And, you have a fever and therefore should not be out spreading your germs to the general populous.

You realize that if someone truly loved you they would be willing to put up with your momentary whininess because they know that this shall pass in a few days.

You forget where you parked your car.

Tropical Storm Lee is spinning above your town and no one told you because you've been either asleep for 3 days or watching Red Dwarf on Netflix.