A Dating Experience

My parents' rule regarding teenage drivers was contingent on our accomplishing a specific goal. With 6 children, having several teenagers on the auto insurance policy was just too expensive. In my brothers' case, they had to achieve their Eagle Scout Award in the Boy Scouts of America. This caused a mildly awkward first date experience for Brother #3.

The other young men his age had decided to have a group date night and proceeded to ask girls out. My brother asked out a girl who lived about 35 miles from our house--and he didn't have his Driver's License. Dad was in the hospital and that meant Mom was in the hospital as well. Brothers #1 and #2 were somewhere else. This left me as the only one with a Driver's License to play chauffeuse. It wouldn't have been a bad thing except for the fact that there was no one at home to watch the 11- and 9-year-old, also known in our family as Bonnie & Clyde. So they came along for the ride.

I had explained to Bonnie & Clyde that it was important to remember that this was Brother #3's special night and that we were there to simply drive the car. No one needed to talk to the girl and we were going to pretend that we were limo drivers. We pulled up to the girl's house, Brother #3 got out of the car and walked up to the front door. I had Bonnie & Clyde in the front seat with me, turned on some "mood" music, and reminded them again that we didn't need to tease our brother or do/say anything that would embarrass him; the girl was not in the car to hang out with us. I even bribed them with the reward of Blue Bell Ice Cream on the way home if they behaved.

Brother #3 and his date climbed into the backseat, introductions were made, and we pulled away from the curb. Everything was going smoothly until Clyde turned around and asked,

"Do you know where urine comes from?"

I was mortified and dying inside because I couldn't laugh or it would have made it worse! I reached over, tapped him on the leg to get his attention, and put my finger to my lips reminding him to zip it. But, alas, it was too late. He then proceeded for the next 25 minutes to explain how he had learned in his science class that day how the renal system worked and how blood turned into urine. He explained in great detail. When we arrived at the location where the date was being held, I was so embarrassed and so was Brother #3. This was the beginning of his first date EVER! and his baby brother had monopolized the conversation by talking about urine. Luckily, other arrangements had been made to take #3's date home. Our chauffeuring skills were never requested again.