Singleton Frustrations

I have to find a Primary Care Physician. It is mandatory to have a PCP in order to change my Health Insurance coverage from the expensive, don't-need-a-PCP plan to the one I want with the lower premium and $500 deductible. The only doctors I liked were my grandpa and my pediatrician. Now I've got to shop around for a Generalist/Internist with whom I shall be stuck for the next year+.

This also means that I have to schedule one of those new patient physical exams which also coincides with getting a medical credit from the hospital effectively lowering my monthly premiums again. I hate going to the doctor. But, it is a necessary evil. Too bad I feel like I have no time to actually do the shopping. The first PCP that popped up in the hospital's database was a woman who looked nice. I think I'm gonna call her and schedule an appointment. But, I don't have my work schedule yet so not quite sure how to schedule anything when I don't have my calendar situated. And, on top of all of it, I have to make a menu, go grocery shopping, pay bills, cook food, pretend I want to eat the food after I've made it, do the laundry, scrub the floors, clean the kitchen, etc. I'm tired of being alone.

I got brave or stupid 2 weeks ago and signed up on one of the LDS online dating sites. After looking around on there and seeing no one get matched with me according to the personality quizlet, I deleted my account. Not ready for that but seriously miss having someone else to talk or hang out with. Would seriously love it if someone else told me what they wanted for dinner so I didn't have to make ALL the decisions ALL the time. I also seriously looked into the Park and Ride program with the bus system. The hospital subsidizes parking arrangements because of the craziness that is Houston's Texas Medical Center. If I didn't have to leave my house at 5:20AM to get to work on time at 7AM, I would do it just to have someone else drive me around for a change. But that's not gonna happen.

I also have to write out a will in the event of a sentinel event in my life. I have to draw up Medical Power of Attorney, choose who to give it to in my family, write out specific instructions relating to my wishes should I be unable to express them in anyway, etc. Were I married it would be so much simpler: I just have him make decisions. But now I have to figure out which brother to give my MPOA to in the even that it is necessary. It'll most likely be Brother #1 and his wife for right now. Need to talk to them about it. SIL A is the closest in the family to the way I think about certain things. I just don't want to be a burden on anyone. That's the most frustrating thing to me; that no one wants to voluntarily share my life and burdens so I have to go around asking others if they wouldn't mind pulling the plug after 30 days.

Forgive me if I sound like I'm whining; I'm really not. There are just some days that you are tired and come home to the silence in your head. The ToDo list seems never ending and there's no one to share it with.

On a much more fascinating note--

You know how I lost my job the end of October? Well, the job I have now didn't exist prior to my layoff. They have only been doing Heart Transplants at my hospital since November 2012 and thus the ICU has only been open since then. (19 have been performed since opening.) I am one of the first staff members they have hired that hasn't been an internal transfer. How crazy is that?? Heavenly Father truly knows what He is doing and puts us with the right people at the right time according to his timing. I have worked in what is called Shock Trauma for the past 2+ years and have no experience in Cardiology. But, this is where I am supposed to be and it is made evident more and more everyday.