Conversation v. Making Conversation

I wonder if people realize that they do it. That there is a difference between the two and the majority of the time someone can tell. It is the difference between someone truly wanting to listen so as to exchange ideas and someone speaking so that meaningless sounds drown out the beauty, presence, and language of silence.

Conversation is defined as the exchange of ideas by spoken words.

To make conversation is to talk for the sake of politeness without having anything to say.

Conversation derives from the late Middle English to mean "live among, be familiar with, be intimate with;" Old French converser which came from the Latin conversari meaning to "keep company with. When you break it down to the roots it is con+vertere meaning "to turn with or around."
(New Oxford American Dictionary)

I have observed that most people make conversation rather than actually conversing with one another. Recently this has been brought more close to home by my interactions with someone who may or may not be trying to be my friend. I'm not quite sure as I have been exhausted after about 10 minutes in their presence.

I have stated in an earlier post that I dislike small talk but there is something I have discovered that I dislike even more. That is when other people ask me a question to which I respond and then seem to completely ignore my response in favor of talking about themselves ad nauseaum. That is not conversation. There is no exchange of ideas and no desire to keep company or "dance" with that person.

There's a quote by Stephen R. Covey floating around on the interwebz that I really like. It's from his book "7 Habits of Highly Effective People"--which I have not read.

Yesterday, I finished reading the 4th book in the Tiffany Aching sub series in Terry Pratchett's Discworld. "I Shall Wear Midnight" is my favorite in the series now all because of someone named Preston. He constantly asks Tiffany what sound does a particular word make. As in, what sound does happiness make? What sound does love make?

"The sun is simple. A sword is simple. A storm is simple. Behind everything simple is a huge tail of complicated." ~Terry Pratchett, I Shall Wear Midnight

Words are simple things. We arrange them together to form simple sentences. When we choose not to listen to what another person is saying, we simplify them. Behind every simple response of "I'm fine" is the complicated, fascinating life of a person. We have to be willing to listen to the other person with the intent to understand them not merely to reply. The reply is shallow and done to make conversation. Listening to what the other person is saying invites familiarity. Listen and you might receive an invitation to join in the dance.