I don't plan on writing this blog anymore. I'm keeping it up because there're 500+ posts and it would be a pain to lose it all. Plus, if those of you who seem to actually want to read it are free to read what I've already said, then why not let you.
My friends have my email address and can talk to me about anything any time they want to. My most loyal reader and commenter's been doing that a lot and I appreciate her sporadic correspondence more than anything right now.
Good-bye, readers. It was a nice 6 years.
04 July 2014
01 July 2014
6 Months Gone
It's July and I feel like I should say something about that. We're halfway through 2014 and summer is officially here. Why do I feel so bleh about it? I have such a hard time writing when the blog is private. I spend so much time alone when I'm not working and this just feels like I'm talking to myself. When the blog is public it gives me the illusion that I'm talking to someone even though no one ever hears my voice. Counting down the days until a first paycheck, then a new apartment, then a new isolation, then work/sleep/eat/shower, then vacation...
And the cycle begins anew.
And the cycle begins anew.
25 June 2014
Hereditary Traits (The 500th Post)
I checked out "And The Mountains Echoed" by Khaled Hosseini and the premise of the book has brought up many questions in my own mind.
It's amazing to me how one person's actions can affect the personality and life choices of their descendants. I think of Leah who gave birth to my mother's mother and her siblings but abandoned her family when the youngest was about a year old. I think of Dorothy who married into that family and raised Leah's children in a community that knew everything about everyone. I wonder about Josephine who left what was the Austro-Bohemian-Hungarian Empire to come to the United States and wasn't allowed to put her true nationality on the census records until 1930; she was born in Bohemia near Prague but had to say Vienna, Austria. There's Rosa Brown who is listed as a Mulatto on the census records. And Hilma who left Sweden to find her hand fasted husband and met the man who would be my grandfather's father.
Their choices have an impact on my life. They've influenced the way my grandparents and parents expressed love. They taught their descendants how to communicate or not communicate. They've affected the way my siblings and I and our cousins interact as adults. Their stories are ours and we are the people we are today because we came from them. Never underestimate your ability to affect the generations that come after you; they live with the consequences of your choices, the attitudes you have about things, and learn how to be people from watching how you treat others.
"...a new novel about how we love, how we take care of one another, and how the choices we make resonate through generations. In this tale revolving around not just parents and children but brothers and sisters, cousins and caretakers, Hosseini explores the many ways in which families nurture, wound, betray, honor, and sacrifice for one another; and how often we are surprised by the actions of those closest to us, at the times that matter most."I've been thinking about the choices made in the past five generations on both sides of my family and the impact those choices have had on me, my siblings, and my cousins. So often in life we hear someone say, "Well, I'm only hurting myself so it doesn't matter." But that's not true. You make a choice and have the freedom to make that choice but the affects of that choice resonate outward from you like ripples in a pond; you have no control over where they go or what they touch.
It's amazing to me how one person's actions can affect the personality and life choices of their descendants. I think of Leah who gave birth to my mother's mother and her siblings but abandoned her family when the youngest was about a year old. I think of Dorothy who married into that family and raised Leah's children in a community that knew everything about everyone. I wonder about Josephine who left what was the Austro-Bohemian-Hungarian Empire to come to the United States and wasn't allowed to put her true nationality on the census records until 1930; she was born in Bohemia near Prague but had to say Vienna, Austria. There's Rosa Brown who is listed as a Mulatto on the census records. And Hilma who left Sweden to find her hand fasted husband and met the man who would be my grandfather's father.
Their choices have an impact on my life. They've influenced the way my grandparents and parents expressed love. They taught their descendants how to communicate or not communicate. They've affected the way my siblings and I and our cousins interact as adults. Their stories are ours and we are the people we are today because we came from them. Never underestimate your ability to affect the generations that come after you; they live with the consequences of your choices, the attitudes you have about things, and learn how to be people from watching how you treat others.
20 June 2014
Transitions
Some of you may have heard that I got a new job. This is true and it's fantastic. I received a job offer that went far beyond my expectations and then went even further than that when I disclosed that I was accepting a second job offer because I needed the dual income. Totally amazing what happens when you have the ability to negotiate because more than one company wants you. I have never had a manager respond the way this one has IN WRITING that made me feel like I was understood, supported, and genuinely wanted as part of the team. It's quite an amazing and new feeling. I felt a bit light-headed after I got the counter-offer and had to remind myself that even though it sounded too good to be true, IT WAS TRUE!
I've also changed my personal email address, removed Facebook from my life, and will be changing my phone number again in the near future. Too many people had access to some of that and gave information out to someone who has been harassing/stalking/threatening me since September. Even with this person blocked on Facebook, they were still able to send me a private message. Not cool! Seriously made me feel unsafe and this is the second time since Facebook changed their privacy and search policies that someone has stalked me on FB. Therefore, I broke up with Facebook and some other people.
Once the job gets going and I have at least 3 paychecks squirreled away I should be in a financial place to get my own apartment again. In an effort to keep my public record private, I am in the process of requesting that all information deemed public be redacted from their records. This means they can't give out my Social Security Number, address, phone number, workplace, etc to anyone who comes in and asks for it. I had no clue that your utility bills were considered a public record and that anyone who wants to can physically go into the County Clerk's Office and ask for them to obtain your address and phone number. Hello, my good friend, the Post Office Box. We shall never be parted again!
I feel truly blessed right now even though I feel that until recently I've been in the eye of a hurricane. There are people in my life who I've been able to confide in about private matters who have been understanding and who have actually kept ME confidential even with people calling them and asking for detailed information I have not chosen to share. Things are looking better and I feel that the future is bright and full of hope.
I've also changed my personal email address, removed Facebook from my life, and will be changing my phone number again in the near future. Too many people had access to some of that and gave information out to someone who has been harassing/stalking/threatening me since September. Even with this person blocked on Facebook, they were still able to send me a private message. Not cool! Seriously made me feel unsafe and this is the second time since Facebook changed their privacy and search policies that someone has stalked me on FB. Therefore, I broke up with Facebook and some other people.
Once the job gets going and I have at least 3 paychecks squirreled away I should be in a financial place to get my own apartment again. In an effort to keep my public record private, I am in the process of requesting that all information deemed public be redacted from their records. This means they can't give out my Social Security Number, address, phone number, workplace, etc to anyone who comes in and asks for it. I had no clue that your utility bills were considered a public record and that anyone who wants to can physically go into the County Clerk's Office and ask for them to obtain your address and phone number. Hello, my good friend, the Post Office Box. We shall never be parted again!
I feel truly blessed right now even though I feel that until recently I've been in the eye of a hurricane. There are people in my life who I've been able to confide in about private matters who have been understanding and who have actually kept ME confidential even with people calling them and asking for detailed information I have not chosen to share. Things are looking better and I feel that the future is bright and full of hope.
09 June 2014
"A Call To Arms"
I'm sharing the transcript of a speech given about a month ago in Huntington Beach, California. It was at a LDS Mid-Singles Conference (ages 30-45) and the speaker said many things I have been saying here on the blog for 5 years.
~Don't Gossip about other people!
~Don't Judge based on gossip!
~Don't Assume you know someone without one-on-one experiences!
It is well worth the read whether you are single, married, know people who are single or married, or need a pick-me-up to keep going. I have a really hard time putting myself out there on the singles scene. I've been there for more than half my life and I loathe it. I don't enjoy the backbiting, the snarky attitudes, the cliques.... The older I get the more reclusive I have become. I felt less social anxiety when I was a teenager than I do now attending any type of singles event that isn't a lecture/classroom setting.
It was so nice to read that I am not the only one who feels this way and is not ashamed to speak out against that type of environment that slowly erodes one's soul.
~Don't Gossip about other people!
~Don't Judge based on gossip!
~Don't Assume you know someone without one-on-one experiences!
It is well worth the read whether you are single, married, know people who are single or married, or need a pick-me-up to keep going. I have a really hard time putting myself out there on the singles scene. I've been there for more than half my life and I loathe it. I don't enjoy the backbiting, the snarky attitudes, the cliques.... The older I get the more reclusive I have become. I felt less social anxiety when I was a teenager than I do now attending any type of singles event that isn't a lecture/classroom setting.
It was so nice to read that I am not the only one who feels this way and is not ashamed to speak out against that type of environment that slowly erodes one's soul.
Alternative Pot Roast
Here's the ingredients I used.
Roast
Enchilada sauce of your choice
Salsa
Diced Tomatoes w/ peppers and onions
Pinto Beans
Black Beans
Dark Red Kidney Beans
Cannelini Beans (white kidney beans)
Chickpeas
Corn
Rice
I put the roast in the crockpot smothered in the enchilada sauce, salsa, and diced tomatoes. I covered it and set the thermostat to 10 hours on low. At the 7 hour mark I added everything else but the rice. This is when I couldn't resist and took a taste an hour later. When the thermostat clicks over to warm I shredded the beef, added the rice and let it absorb the combined juices.
You could eat it over cornbread or, my personal favorite, corn tortilla chips. If you make it, let me know what you think. I haven't had much of an appetite lately and this is the first thing I've made in a while that made me hungry just smelling it cooking. This is definitely going to be a repeat meal.
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