I got a phone call this morning. It was one of those phone calls I was expecting but dreading. My great-uncle Raymond passed away this morning. I had a feeling last week when my cousin told me he was in the hospital in Houston that I needed to go pay a visit, but I didn't do it. I regret that decision because he was one of my favorite people.
Today, I was remembering random things about him. The time he and Aunt Cookie came to California with my grandparents to visit. All of us going to Yosemite and Sequoia National Parks--staying at the Shiloh Inn and eating pancakes at Shoney's. Going up to Bass Lake to see the house that was being built and leaving Brother Number One in the backyard alone--he was only 5 at the time. Uncle Raymond driving and driving because he wouldn't turn around even though he had passed the street we were supposed to turn down 5 miles back. Uncle Raymond being quiet and just there when everyone else in the family, especially my Grandpa Hershal, were being loud and us. Staying at their house when my Grandma Lucille died just after I turned 14. Uncle Raymond snored loudly and I don't think I slept that whole week. Seeing him a year ago at Brother Number 3's wedding reception, using a walker, shocked that he had aged.
But for some reason today, the biggest thing I remember is that Raymond and Cookie just celebrated their 69th Wedding Anniversary a few months ago. Except for his military service overseas during World War II, I don't think he and Cookie have been separated for more than a few days their entire marriage. Her best friend has gone ahead.
The first Christmas I came home from college I had just turned 19. My parents drove me to the airport to catch my flight back to school and my dad talked to me about dating. I had never been on a date at this point and squirmed in the backseat. (My parents are famous for popping up those Talks while in the car because they knew that while you seriously contemplated jumping out the window of a moving vehicle, you wouldn't do it. My three youngest siblings all got THE Talk at the same time this way driving down to Corpus Christi for a vacation one year.) Dad told me that when it came time for me to seriously consider choosing a boyfriend and subsequently a spouse, I shouldn't marry anyone like him. I was shocked until he clarified what he meant. He told me I should look for someone like Uncle Raymond.
Raymond treated Cookie like she was the one who hung the moon and stars and the sun shone brighter because she walked into a room. Dad said he had never in his whole life ever heard either one of them raise their voice at one another or say something to deliberately hurt the other's feelings. When we had family get-together's, Uncle Raymond did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. He did this for normal, everyday meals also. He helped Cookie in and out of the car. Carried in her groceries. His way of showing love was by doing the little things so that her day was easier. She was the most precious thing in his world and she treated him with equal respect and love.
He was very quiet but always interested in what you were doing and remembered the things that interested you. He was the type of person who sat in the back, whom nobody really noticed, but was always the first one to see a need and offer his assistance. If you were cold, he'd find you a blanket or jacket. If you looked bored, he'd find something for you to do. If he knew you had a talent, he encouraged you to pursue it and show it off so others could benefit from you accomplishments.
Uncle Raymond told me once that he was the happiest man alive because Cookie loved him and he had no idea how he had gotten so lucky. I'm pretty sure that she would tell you the same thing about him. He was the closest thing I've had to a grandpa since Grandpa Hershal died when I was 15. I will miss him but am so grateful that I had the opportunity to have him in my life. He and Cookie, my parents, and my grandparents taught me what love is and how husbands and wives should treat each other. Their children were important to them but we knew all was right in our world because they loved each other.
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