Our Story
Two very interesting points of view
His Story
When I was young there was this girl. She was loud (still is). My family moved away from Fresno when I was 12, and at 14 we came to visit. There was a church dance (it was new years eve) at Fashion Fair Mall and she dragged me out onto the dance floor, I was all "nah, nah" and she was all "yeah, we're gonna dance". I didn't see her again until our first date 14 years later. She didn't remember the dance at all, but I did. We talked for 3 hours, our food got cold. The whole time I was thinking that I wanted to see more of this girl. The waiters kept bringing water but I didn't want to get up to use the restroom for fear of ruining the momentum. She finally told me she was tired so we called it a night. We hugged, twice (score) and went to our separate cars. The next day i talked to the people I worked for and told them that after my summer commitment in Alaska that I wanted to come back to Fresno. I went over to my aunts house (who by the way is her aunt as well) and commented that I had gone out with her the previous evening. That information was met with a little shock and lots of questions like "was it a date?" "did you pick her up?" "did you pay?" and my aunt saying "I don't know if I'm comfortable with my nephew dating my niece". Just to make it clear, we are NOT related. My mothers sister married her mothers brother, no blood relation what so ever. So the next day on my way back to Utah, I called her to pass the time while I was driving. We talked all day except when we didn't have cell reception. And the whole time I'm thinking "I don't know where this is going but it's great!". These conversations continued everyday for at least five hours a piece. My buddy kept asking me "whats going on here?" and I kept telling him I didn't know but I was enjoying myself. We had talked about marriage early on and three weeks after the first phone call she told me she had set a date for us at the temple and asked if that was ok. Yes it was.
Her Story
Ok, so i get this e-mail from John that says he's going to be in town for a week. I assume that he would like to get together and asked him what he would like to do. He gave me his number and i sent him mine and we decided that on Saturday the 19th of March we would eat food. I love food. We ate at Pismos right accross from River Park and got fish and chips. We had so many things to talk about, it was fantastic! I've never had to Work so little at having a great date. The whole time i'm thinking "too bad he doesn't live in Fresno, but hey, maybe he'll be back really soon". Then he tells me that he's going to Alaska for the Summer (SUCK!). So it's getting late and i'm getting tired and i really needed to go to the bathroom. The waiters kept bringing us water but i didn't want to get up and ruin the momentum. So as it was late I expressed that I was tired, so we called it a night, hugged and left in our separate cars. I don't look at my phone while I'm on a date, it's rude, so when I got into my car I had some missed calls and text messages, one of which was from a guy that I'd been hanging out with who wanted to go see a movie, so I went and saw a movie. It was ok, it would have been more fun with John but he was going to Alaska. I did not really think much about him the next day except to tell my family that i'd met up with him and that we'd had a great time but he was going to Alaska. Did I mention that he was going to Alaska? Ok good cause Alaska is really far away and I had no reason to believe that he was coming back. So then Monday comes and I'm at the institute playing ping pong when my phone rings, my sister Jazz told me who it was (the guy I'd seen the movie with the same night as my date with John) and I told her I'd call him back when I was done. Not two minutes later my phone rings again and my sister says "Abby, it's John". I looked at my ping pong partner and said "I'm sorry, I have to take this" and preceded to talk to him the whole day except when his phone kept cutting out. My heart beat a little faster that day, it was great! The next day he called again in the morning while I was at work so I only talked to him for a few minutes. When I got off work early that day I went over to my sister Beau's house and said "Beau, I think I'm going to marry John. I'm pretty sure that's where we're headed". And then i called my two best friends John and Sean and said "so I'm probably going to get married this year, maybe around September so just be prepared to come out here so you can be here for it". So after about a week of heavy topic conversation we started speculating on IF we got married, and after week two it was WHEN we get married, so after week three I called the temple to see what was needed to set a date and what I needed so that my son could also get sealed to us, and the temple sister was just so completely accommodating that I found I had set the date. So I called John and said "how do you feel about September 10th to get married, then it would be 9-10-11" he was ok with that, it sounded good, and I said "good, cause I just set it up with the temple, we're good to go" and he said "ok".
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| SIL A and Brother #1 This photo reminds me of a post I wrote a while back: "In A Theoretical Sense....Yes." |
(Me, again.)
As you can see, sometimes long distance relationships do work. You never know what can happen if you simply ask someone out to dinner and genuinely want to talk to them. Want to know what they talked about on that first date? Books they had both read. Hopefully, for those of us who are still looking for someone we can share our lives with we can all have a similarly easy experience.
Quit getting in your own way and simply ask someone out. Going to dinner is not an invitation to create a zygote and co-parent children. Nor is it a commitment to share a checking account. Relax! Just let conversation flow if it's there and if not, be honest enough to admit that this just doesn't work. And, for heaven's sake, don't throw something away because it may not fit your 5-year plan. You never know what could happen if you just let things be.
Thomas S. Monson:
I realize there are many reasons why you may be hesitating to take that step of getting married. If you are concerned about providing financially for a wife and family, may I assure you that there is no shame in a couple having to scrimp and save. It is generally during these challenging times that you will grow closer together as you learn to sacrifice and to make difficult decisions. Perhaps you are afraid of making the wrong choice. To this I say that you need to exercise faith. Find someone with whom you can be compatible. Realize that you will not be able to anticipate every challenge which may arise, but be assured that almost anything can be worked out if you are resourceful and if you are committed to making your marriage work. (LDS General Conference, Apr. 2011)
Richard G. Scott:
When you find you are developing an interest in a young woman, show her that you are an exceptional person that she would find interesting to know better. Take her to places that are worthwhile. Show some ingenuity. If you want to have a wonderful wife, you need to have her see you as a wonderful man and prospective husband. If you have found someone, you can form an extraordinarily wonderful courtship and marriage and be very, very happy eternally by staying within the bounds of worthiness the Lord has established. (LDS General Conference, Apr. 2011)
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