I thought I was doing so well. And I was. Until all this crap happened. Now I have every negative thought I thought I had gotten rid of running through my head.
"It's obvious to me that God is punishing you."
"You teach people how to treat you."
"Your friendship was no longer necessary and useful."
"You let yourself down when you fail to to what needs to be done."
"You do nothing but cause extra stress in my life; you're a burden."
"It's all in your head; just snap out of it."
"I guess you want to be homeless or you wouldn't act this way."
"If you really believed in God and had a good relationship with him you wouldn't be going through this."
"You are so mean to other people and should give them credit for their rightful criticism."
"Of course no one answers the phone when you call them or responds to your voicemail messages. Who would want to talk to you?"
"You're not interesting so why would anyone want to go to the movies with you?"
Change your thoughts and you can change your world. So much easier said than done. I regret ever mentioning I was falling apart on the blog. I was doing better and tonight feel worse than I did before I called Employee Assistance. And no one answers their phone. But why would they? Even I am tired of me and my problems.
"About Trauma"
No Em, this is better. It sucks, and it's tiring and all kinds of awful, but you can't bottle it up and expect it to just go away or get better. If hashing it all out means a monster of a storm, then that's what it means. But it also means the poison is working its way out and eventually you will get better. It may not be soon, but you will.
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